^Affirmation

 

^{When the sockeye come in, choking the riffles with their}

^{crimson bodies, flashing their fins}

^{with effort} 

^{and instinct,}

^{we push through the alder and into the river}

^{to sit among their fading stories}

^{like patient, glacial erratics.}

^{It has always been this way.}

^{We fish the currents and eddys,}

^{eating our fill.} 

 

^{When did you first deny} 

^{your hunger?}

^{There is no shame in feeding, in} 

^{growing bigger.}

^{Life longs to expand, to} 

^{wriggle free.}

 

^{As a child, you knew this. Each summer cabin night} 

^{you would slide out of bed and} 

^{tiptoe across the moon shadowed floor}

^{to the bear rug.}

^{Its story didn’t matter, just the deep softness,} 

^{darker than the night outside.} 

^{You curled up there, head to head, deep}

^{in a bed of your own choosing.}

 

^{Love chooses love.}

^{It has always been this way.}

^{Think of the day his} 

^{ashes poured from the bridge}

^{into this river.}

^{The sunlight brightened the dust}

^{as it fell,}

^{refracting within the tiny prisms of him,} 

^{connecting you}

^{to this water}

^{with a column of color.}

^{It was as if} 

^{he was becoming every silvery shade}

^{of the river,}

^{every flashing scale of the fish.}

 

^{He loved this river.}

^{Not the way we do, or you will,}

^{but in the way salmon love with a fierce,}

^{instinctual pursuit, heedless of obstacle or cost.}

^{This drive to their own deaths} 

^{and return}

^{is astonishing.}

 

^{But their run is not about a hunger unmet,}

^{or denial. It is not even}

^{about death, though that is part of it.}

^{They swim as the river, becoming it,}

^{not its opposite,}

^{not a journey of obliteration, self-destruction,}

^{and pain,}

^{but an affirmation} 

^{of the journey}

^Itself.

 

^{You have made} 

^{a different choice}

^{than him,}

^{season after season.}

^{He took his own life, not yours.}

^Accept 

^this 

^feast.

^{In claiming your hunger,}

^{you are believing what}

^{he could not.}

 

^{Come. The light is fading, and our bellies are full.}

^{Dare to choose the bed that has chosen you.}

^{Rest. Wait. Dream. Create.} 

^{It has always been this way.}

^{The time for waking will come.}